A Compilation of New Year’s Resolutions
When I graduated college in 2016, I started making New Year’s Resolutions. It was a good way to keep track of life after college now that I didn’t have academic years as checkpoints for my growth. Every lesson learned led to a new goal for the next year. As I ventured into adulthood, these are some of the biggest lessons I learned every year.
2016: The Year of Adaptation
Year 0 out of college. This year was full of learning. I learned how to adult: meal prepping once a week, arguing with apartment landlords, making a real budget, paying off student loans. I also learned that I had a new freedom. With the click of a button, I had the power to go anywhere. I was in complete control with my money and my decisions. In a day I could buy plane tickets, rent a car, and book an Airbnb. Travel to NYC for a long weekend? Go for it. Take a week of PTO and fly to the Grand Canyon? Sounds great. I quickly discovered I loved exploring and learned to be careful with my finances to fund this hobby.
I also learned how to cope with the depression of not being surrounded by people all the time. My weekends used to be full of plans. I remember the first Saturday post graduation where I didn’t have any plans. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t have Netflix at the time. I felt too antsy to read a book. I remember driving to the nearest town square and wandering in the dark. Not being surrounded by friends like I was in college, it pushed me to become engrossed by hobbies and books — things that I once did not have time for in school. Fast forward to a few years later and a free Saturday evening is a relaxing gift.
2017: The Year of Accepting Ambiguity
Year 1 out of college. This year was a bit of a blur. I’ve eased into adulthood but I’m also not sure what I want to do with my life. I feel a little stuck. But it’s ok. I can forgive myself for not knowing what path to take with my career. I gave myself time to keep reading and learning. I also made sure to stay in touch with friends. This was when some of them started to fade away.
The path forward is not yet clear. It may not be clear for awhile. I learned to be comfortable with embracing the unknown instead of fearing it. I focused on learning more about the world. I focused on spending time with friends, playing sports, and traveling. All of my free time doesn’t have to be spent figuring out my career.
2018: The Year of No Comparisons
Year 2 out of college. Two years out of school is when people start to lead very different lives. One friend is pregnant, but another friend is living with their parents. It’s a weird time. I focused on not comparing myself to others; only comparing my present self to my past self.
I found myself comparing my skills to more experienced individuals in both my work and in my hobbies. I had just started to play ultimate frisbee. I had never played a team sport and admired the athleticism and communication needed to work the disc down the field. Players my age had already had years to master their skills. They had spent 4 years in college practicing and competing with a team. The older players had spent additional years competing at a higher level in summer competitive clubs. They simply had more time to develop those skills. With frisbee and with work, if I put in the time and effort to develop those skills I would rise to that same level as well.
2019: The Year of No
Year 3 out of college. I minimized my commitments. I was getting burnt out and had too much on my plate. I found myself traveling every long weekend. I could never sit still. I started limiting my plans. I took the time to relax at home and read. I took time off my hobbies in order to focus on career related skills. I chose to relax on Friday nights instead of getting a drink with friends so I could wake up early and be productive on Saturday morning. I read and learned a lot more. I spent less time on my phone which made me feel more relaxed and productive. It became a positive cycle.
My weekends were more productive than ever. In the end, it paid off (more on that later). I learned an incredible amount about myself and what I wanted out of life. All because I took the time to sit still and think.
2020: The Year of Just Do It
Year 4 out of college and the present. I would get an idea for a project or goal I had, and then tell my friends. In 2019 I had this grand plan that I was going to work out 6 days a week. Excited to get in shape, I let my friends know. “That’s so great!” “I should start doing that too!” I’d be going strong for 2 weeks and then the effort would fade. I couldn’t stick to the goal and I wasn’t sure why. Later I discovered that I had settled for that positive reaction. I had made a great goal, gotten great feedback, and in my mind I was done. I had received the reward without putting in the work. After years of trying and failing to have a consistent workout plan, I made a new workout goal and didn’t tell anyone about it. By the end of 2019, I started my goal and I kept up with a regular gym schedule for 17 weeks (until COVID-19 happened). After 4 months of consistently working out, I felt more accomplished than I ever did receiving praise from thinking about working out. It’s bizarre that keeping my plans to myself changed everything. I always thought telling people would make me feel like they’re holding me accountable. I came to learn that no one is holding me accountable but myself. By not telling people my goals, I no longer did things because they looked good to other people. I was my own motivation and it felt wonderful.
Every resolution has a theme: how can I keep learning? My biggest fear is becoming complacent with my life and work. I love having a new resolution to check myself and monitor my growth. Unlike a SMART goal, the resolution doesn’t have to be heavily outlined. I enjoyed having a general theme — a mantra — to guide me through the year. It gives my years purpose but also marks time. That way when I look back, I can pin point events in my life based on the resolution for that year. It envelopes the events in my life into a meaningful and memorable package. Ten years from now when I look back on my life, I’ll smile remembering the journey I took to get there.
